SOOO I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START,IN THE EYES OF MOST I HAVENT BEEN THE SAME OLD NICK THAT I HAVE BEEN SINCE IVE TURNED 21 THIS YR IN APRIL.I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT "IM NOT" THE SAME NICK THAT I USUALLY AM.IT IS MAINLY BECAUSE OF ALL THE BAD SHIT THAT HIT ME LIKE A SACK OF BRICKS SINCE APRIL 19TH 2009.MY ENGINE IN MY CAR BLEW ON ME THEN,I LOST MY SOURCE OF INCOME,THEN ME MY FAMILY DRIFTED APART FARTHER THAN EVER,AND PEOPLE AROUND ME STARTED TO ACT DIFFERENT IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE FROM FRIENDS TO PEOPLE I KNOW,AND THIS LIST GOES ON AS FAR AS THE DOWNHILL JOURNEY IVE BEEN ON.I DONT REALLY KNOW WHAT I DID FOR ALL THIS TO HAPPEN BUT THE FACT OF THE MATTER THESE THINGS HAVE BEEN HAPPENING TO ME ...AND SOME OF THEM ARE OUTTA MY CONTROL BUT THE THINGS THAT ARENT OUTTA MY CONTROL,ARE HARDER TO FIX THAN THE ONES THAT ARENT IF THAT MAKES ANY SENSE.I FEEL LIKE IM STUCK IN TIME,WHILE OTHER PEOPLE GO OUT N DO THINGS AND MAKE MOVES IN LIFE WHILE I SIT AN WATCH HISTORY REPEAT ITSELF.IVE BEEN IN THIS POSITION IM IN NUMEROUS TIMES BUT NOT AS BAD AS NOW.A PERSON CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH STUFF BEFORE THEIR HANDS ARE BEYOND FULL AND THEY BREAK DOWN,AS THAT REFERS TO ME IM THE TYPE OF PERSON TO TRY AND JUGGLE EVERYTHING AT ONCE AND I REALIZED THAT I DONT THINK I CAN AND I NEED TO JUST DROP ALL EXCESS BAGGAGE AND PICK THINGS UP ONE THING AT A TIME.BUT I DONT KNOW THE CONSIQUENCES OF DROPPING EVERYTHING AND STARTING OVER ESPECIALLY WHEN EVERYTHING IN MY HANDS HAS A BOND IN SOME SORT OF WAY IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.SO SAY I DROP THAT PEICE OF BAGGAGE THAT I DONT NEED IN MY LIFE BUT THE OTHER THINGS IN MY LIFE HAVE A TIE TO IT,HOW ARE THINGS GUNNA BE AFTER THAT.I DONT KNOW HOW I WOULD HANDLE IT YET MY MENTALITY IS THAT I WONT KNOW UNLESS I DO IT,ALTHOUGH IT MIGHT NOT BE THE RIGHT WAY TO GO ABOUT IT.ESPECIALLY AFTER THIS PAST WEEKEND IT MAKES ME THINK TO MYSELF WHAT AM I REALLY DOING??AM I GUNNA SIT IN THIS TIME CAPSULE AND KEEP LETTIN THINGS REPEAT THEMSELVES WHILE EVERYONE ELSE MOVES FORWARD AND PROGRESSES?.....IN MOST CASES I WOULD SAY ONLY TIME WILL TELL BUT NOW I TELL YOU THIS IM NOT GUNNA SIT AROUND HERE FEELIN SORRY FOR MYSELF AND EXPECT OTHERS TO DO THE SAME ... MY TIME IS NOW WETHER YOU ARE APART OF MY MOVEMENT AND MY LIFE FROM HERE ON OUT OR NOT...JUST KNOW THAT IM GUNNA MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF NOTHIN "NO EXCUSES" AT ALL NOTHING CAN CHANGE THAT...
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